Seeing and Being Seen: The Heartbeat of Coaching

This past Friday (September 29th), I had the opportunity to attend ICF Georgia’s Coaching Day 2023. During this event, there was an array of captivating speakers, each shedding light on various facets of coaching and its profound impact. Among the insights shared, a central theme emerged: the inherent human desire to be seen and understood. In this article, I’ll distill the wisdom of four remarkable speakers—Marcia Reynolds, Robert Garcia, and Tonya Echols along with Dr. Kiki Ramsey—sharing key takeaways that encapsulate the essence of their discussions.

In the realm of coaching, and one of the compelling reasons why I embarked on this journey earlier this year with the inception of Liminist, lies a profound human need—a need to be genuinely seen and heard. This transcends mere recognition; it delves deep into the realms of acceptance, validation, and genuine understanding. “Seeing” and “being seen” stand as the cornerstones not only of individual coaching but also of collective development, be it in the context of one-on-one coaching, the burgeoning landscape of organizational coaching, or the pivotal role of coaching in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DE&I) initiatives. As I attended the conference and initially perceived three distinct topics—individual coaching, the surge of organizational coaching, and the significance of coaching in DE&I—I soon discovered a common thread weaving them together. This fundamental human need for authentic acknowledgment resonates across personal coaching, organizational coaching paradigms, and DE&I initiatives. Let’s delve deeper into this interconnected tapestry.

1:1 Coaching – The Essence of Being Seen

In the realm of 1:1 coaching, as we heard from Marcia Reynolds, the dynamics between coach and client take on a powerful role. She emphasizes that a coach’s role transcends that of a mere problem-solver; it transforms into that of a thinking partner. Rather than guiding the client every step of the way, a coach acts as a mirror, allowing clients to gain profound clarity about themselves, their challenges, and their potential.

In fact, recent studies conducted in April 2022 have underscored the transformative impact of coaching on problem-solving and creativity in brain activity. These studies have revealed that when individuals are coached, their brain activity increases significantly compared to when they are told what to do or mentored.

So, what else should we take away from Marcia’s years of knowledge?

• Deep Self-Understanding: The most significant insights arise when individuals gain a profound understanding of their current selves and explore the potential of who they can become.
• Navigating Life Transitions: Many of life’s most challenging moments result from the transitions between different versions of ourselves.
• Enhanced Self-Perception: Coaches don’t aim to make clients feel better; their role is to facilitate improved self-perception.
• Facing Challenges Head-On: In successful coaching, coaches empower clients to confront challenges head-on rather than avoiding them.
• Curiosity and Comfort: A great coach approaches coaching with deep curiosity and comfort in the face of uncertainty.
• Profound Listening: Coaching places a strong emphasis on profound listening rather than providing immediate answers.
• Guidance and Growth: Clients can expect a trustworthy partner who will expertly guide them through the coaching process, ensuring their continuous growth and development.

The Pivot to Organizational Coaching and Culture

Transitioning from personal coaching to organizational landscapes, Robert Garcia emphasized the shift that turns busniess coaching into a systemic, cultural approach within organizations. He underscored the importance of infusing the coaching ethos throughout the organization, touching every tier from entry-level employees to senior leadership. This diffusion cultivates a symbiotic culture, where business coaching enhances organizational strength, boosts employee performance and retention, and fosters a healthy, growth-oriented work environment.

Also according to Robert, in the realm of organizational coaching, the landscape is evolving rapidly. Let’s delve into the statistics and trends that paint a vivid picture of this transformative journey:

Diverse Coaching Providers: Who takes on the role of a coach within organizations? The landscape is diverse, with various contributors:

• 85% of managers and leaders incorporate coaching skills into their roles.
• 64% of organizations engage external coach practitioners to drive growth and development.
• 50% utilize internal coach practitioners to foster a coaching culture from within.

Moreover, it’s crucial to recognize that this field is dynamic. 35% of organizations participating in surveys currently harness all three types of coaches. What’s even more telling is that in the next five years, 68% of companies are planning to bolster the utilization of internal coach practitioners. The journey of transformation is inclusive and dynamic.

Within organizations, the desire to be truly seen and understood is not confined to the upper echelons. Coaching is no longer an exclusive domain of the c-suite. In fact, coaching influence spans across various levels:

• 81% at the senior level seek coaching.
• 60% of high-potential employees are eager to embrace coaching.
• 58% of mid-level professionals value coaching as a tool for growth.
• Even 30% at the entry level recognize the power of coaching in their development.

Remarkably, there’s a growing trend among young employees, particularly millennials, who are advocating for coaching early in their careers. They don’t want to wait until they reach executive positions. The breakdown by generation illustrates this shift in who is using coaching:

• Gen Z (1997-2012) – 29%
• Millennials (1980-1996) – 37% 
• Gen X (1965-1979) – 31% 
• Baby Boomers (1946-1964) – 25% 

The significance of coaching goes beyond being just a trend; it’s now considered critical to various organizational initiatives. It plays a pivotal role in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DE&I) efforts, upskilling endeavors, and employee wellbeing programs. Organizations that effectively implement coaching are reaping tangible benefits. Here are some ROI examples from diverse organizations, and you can find more case studies on the ICF website:

• Achieving a 2.7 times higher promotion rate among leaders.
• Consistently maintaining an NPS score exceeding 80.
• Realizing a 225% ROI, resulting in $550,000 in cost savings.
• Achieving an astounding $84 million in cost savings through physician retention.
• Garnering a $2.6 million cost savings with an impressive 289% ROI.

These statistics vividly illustrate that coaching is not merely a trend but a transformative force driving growth, development, and success within organizations.

The Symbiosis between Coaching and DE&I Initiatives

Stepping into the realm of DE&I, Tonya Echols and Dr. Kiki Ramsey also stress the vital aspect of “seeing” people. Beyond mere statistics, DE&I thrives on authentic, human-centered interactions and validations. It extends beyond mere representation, anchoring itself in the core principle that every individual, regardless of identity, seeks recognition, a voice, and value. Furthermore, as DE&I evolves in the post-COVID era, there’s a heightened focus not only on initiation but also on the sustainability of DE&I initiatives, making them genuine, integrated, and enduring.

But how do we embark on this journey of fostering genuine Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DE&I) within our organizations and society at large? Let’s delve into this with an analogy that Tonya Echols and Dr. Kiki Ramsey used during their enlightening discussion… They likened America to an old house. Picture it for a moment: a beloved, old house, full of history and character. Yet, like any aged structure, it might have a few leaks and cracks. The beauty here is that when there’s a leak in this cherished house, we don’t simply ignore it or move out. Instead, we recognize the need to fix it, to address the issues head-on.

Now, consider this in the context of DE&I. Just like our beloved old house, there will always be aspects of DE&I that require attention and improvement. It’s an ongoing process, one that never truly ends. Yet that’s perfectly okay because each time we tackle an issue, no matter how challenging, we’re not just fixing a problem; we’re making our society stronger, better, and more inclusive.

So, how can we navigate this journey effectively?

• Define DE&I: Start by establishing a clear and comprehensive definition of what Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion means to your organization. It’s about going beyond the surface-level understanding and diving deep into its implications and potential.
• The “D” Is Not Enough: Remember that the “D” in DE&I, which stands for Diversity, is just the beginning. It’s not sufficient to merely have diverse representation. True progress comes when diversity is accompanied by equity and inclusion.
• Beyond Coaches and DE&I Leaders: While having dedicated coaches and heads of DE&I is essential, the responsibility for fostering an inclusive environment shouldn’t rest solely on their shoulders. Everyone within the organization, regardless of their role, should be engaged in this journey.
• Embrace Fear and Curiosity: Encourage open conversations about DE&I, even when they touch on uncomfortable topics. Fear can be a barrier and curiosity is its antidote. Approach these discussions with a genuine desire to learn, grow, and understand one another.

In summary, we cannot halt the progress of humanity’s evolution. People are now genuinely seeing one another, learning, and growing together. To truly drive cultural change and advance DE&I, we must start at the individual level, understanding where each person stands in relation to these important principles. It’s only when we do this that we can collectively create environments where every individual is seen, heard, and valued.

Bringing It All Together

Coaching, driven by our basic need to understand and be understood, is a powerful tool for personal and organizational growth. As we navigate personal development and the growth of our organizations, it’s essential to make sure our strategies make sense to everyone. They must match what people need as things change.

This journey we’re on, using coaching to grow inside and out, needs everyone to get involved. Your thoughts, your experiences, and your actions are all important in this process. We’re making something special, a place where everyone matters.

If you want to learn more about coaching, I’m here to talk. You can schedule a chat with me through this Calendly link today. Let’s see how coaching can help you on your path to growth and success.